You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
