there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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