Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
