I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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