All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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