Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
