Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
