She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
