isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
