I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
