She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
