We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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