are you still at the devil's house?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
