I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
