you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
