exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
nutella sex= disaster
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
