Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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