How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
