I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize