you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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