woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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