did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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