is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
