Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
