just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
