Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
