Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
