It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
