I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
