So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
