No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i've created a new STD.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
