I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this just has baby written all over it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
