how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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