um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
