Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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