But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
