So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
