your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
