can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
