My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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