"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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