Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
