I am in a vortex of obligation.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
