textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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