I cockslap morals
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
