I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
two words: eviction party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
