Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
