apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
