whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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