med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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