If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He kissed a someone with a penis
Farmville is her only friend.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize