Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
