I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just cropdusted the office
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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