when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
