dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
