We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
