If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
