I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My pussy is not your playground.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
