I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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