I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
