My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
