It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
