My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
