omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
