I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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